To expand on the message of the initial post, something to always keep in mind is what everyone with older kids has likely been sure to share with you already:
It goes so fast.
When you’re in the trenches there are times when it feels like these little things (aka “your children”) that are…
crying, whining, complaining, giving attitude, (whatever the negative expression of emotion is at a given age)
…have been, and are going to be, exhibiting these emotions for… like… forever.
You might find yourself- sort of stunned- wondering how you went from being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, however long you want… to being in this situation where you have very little in your life that reminds you of your pre-kid life.
But there’s an awesomeness about where you’ve landed. You are your kid’s hero.
And it doesn’t take much to keep it that way.
It’s an investment of time and love worth making, because your kid(s) will be with you for the rest of your life… and how awesome they turn out to be will be largely reflective of how much of that time and love you invest.
It’s not rocket science.
Imagine someone whose dad was largely absent and was distant even when present, and someone else whose dad was super-involved and flooded the kid with love. It isn’t hard to guess the likely outcome of each relationship.
All we have to do is think about it, rather than trudging along through the trenches of our kids’ childhood. Recognize that where you are, right now, you can make a difference in who they are to become.
Depending on where you were at in life when the kids started to take over, your perspective will surely be different.
Some people have kids really young. That’s tough in some ways, and a blessing in some ways.
Some people have kids when they’re much older. That’s tough in some ways, and a blessing in some ways.
You can’t change the situation you’re in, so think about and appreciate the benefits of the path you’re on. If you had kids really young, maybe you’ll be able to relate to them more, even go out and party and do adventures with them as they get older. You’ll be able to participate in lots of activities with them. If you had kids at an older age, then maybe you were able get some stuff out of your system first, allowing you to focus more on them. There are advantages to both paths. Make the one you’re on the “preferred” path.
I seemed to have shot off on a tangent, so let me bring it back in…
It goes so fast.
When my son was 4, I thought, “Holy shit, I only get to spend what I have already spent with him… only 4 more times and he’ll be 20 and likely be out of the house.”
When he turned 7, I freaked out realizing I only get to spend the time I had already spent with him TWO MORE TIMES and he’ll be legal drinking age and off on his own.
It’s fleeting, and we’ll never get this time back. Gobble it up.
Eventhough I had a father and step-father I never really had a father figure. So when I see you as a friend and now a father. I know how blessed your kids are to have such a hands-on father in their lives- forever!