Before my wife and kids, I used to go out a lot. A whole lot. Life was all about working hard, and playing a LOT harder. I could spend 24 hours straight at the office, making sure all projects launched on time, but come Friday night I made up for it. I would go out so much that, after getting married and having kids, it had been a few years since my wife and I had been out, and we went out to our favorite club (Club Space, in Miami) and the owner was on the decks and beckoned me up to the DJ booth to let me know he had noticed my absence.
Maybe I went out too much.
I bring this up because after having kids, some friends would say things like, “Man that’s gotta suck, you can’t really go out much any more,” or, “I feel sorry for you that you have to stay home Sunday mornings,” or something of the sort… to which I would reply, “No… it so DOESN’T suck, because I absolutely love being with my kids.”
And I would give them this analogy:
Imagine that you are born with some spinal cord damage that renders you unable to walk your whole life. You’ve always gotten around on a wheelchair, and you were really good at it, as it is all you ever knew.
And then one day as you’re in your thirties or forties, there’s a magical procedure that allowed you use of your legs.
And your friends ask, “Doesn’t that suck that you now have to WALK everywhere, that you can’t just wheel around and always have a chair to sit in?”
My response would be something like, “No, it very much DOESN’T suck, because while yes, I have to walk everywhere and stand in lines, it is a totally different life now and I very much prefer being able to walk everywhere. I’m not just saying that because that is the circumstance I’m in and I’m trying to make myself feel better about it… I really do appreciate the ability to use my legs.”
Having kids is definitely different, but the joy and rewards so outweigh anything my friends might have considered as a downside, that there’s no contest.